Getting involved in physical activity is an ebb and flow process, much like a relationship. You start dating, you go steady for a while, you break up, you get back together, and on it goes!

Sport psychologists have studied our relationship with physical activity and have identified four main phases, along with precious tips to keep the relationship going at every stage. Find out where you stand and try some of the tips to motivate yourself to be active.

Starter phase
Court physical activity! Don't force the relationship.
Strive for regular, enjoyable encounters for a while. Try more moderate forms of convenient activity. Make gradual, comfortable changes in your lifestyle. Choose classes that provide prolonged and enjoyable warm-ups. This will prevent or at least minimize discomfort. Exercise with adults at the same level — it will build your confidence in your ability to do the same. Read about the benefits of activity. Enlist the support of friends and family. Focus on the mental and physical well-being you derive from your activity.

Growth phase
It's not time for a marriage proposal yet! Get to know your partner first.

Stay focused on maintaining your new behaviour of physical activity. Keep fitness goals and other long-term goals such as weight loss on the back burner. Focus on the present and its benefits. Be wary about strict fitness guidelines. If they demand too much effort from you, you are likely to be turned off. Adherence is the key at this stage.

Maintenance phase
Marriage! Or at least a long-term commitment.

Day-to-day efforts and playfulness keep the relationship alive at this stage. Focus on maintaining a regular pattern of activity, which is most important for health benefits. Don't overload yourself with sports training principles. That's good for athletic performance. For health benefits, keep an enjoyable, recreational level.

Dropout phase
No, this is not divorce! Just a "communication problem"...

If you feel bad about dropping out, replace those guilt feelings right away. Turn them into positive statements. For example, instead of saying "I stopped because I am no good at sport and exercise," say "I don't have to be good to get involved." Learn from your setbacks. Identify what has caused the change. Write the problems down and figure out ways to reverse the situation. Sharpen your goal setting skills and set appropriate goals. Adjust your time management strategy. Enlist the help and support of friends.

Life is full of events and constraints. Children, work, births, deaths, sickness, hobbies, commitments to the community all get in the way of physical activity sometimes. As with any relationship, you need to find the time to be together. Scheduling and planning around these events will help you to spend most of your time in the maintenance phase and as little time as possible in the dropout phase. You'll have the makings of a strong, healthy relationship!