Five-year-old Chantale inserted a cassette into her tape player, pressed the on button and started dancing to the beat of ABBA, her favorite music of the day. She jumped around, twisted gracefully and swung her arms to the rhythm, barely pausing between songs. She danced until the tape was over, enthralled with her activity and oblivious of others around her.

Her experience may well have been called an "experience of flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. The renowned psychologist describes flow as a rare state of consciousness that begins with a narrowing of attention on a clearly defined goal. We feel involved, concentrated, absorbed. Hours pass by without us noticing. As with water flowing down the stream, there is a smooth, almost automatic movement toward an inevitable outcome.

Parents of children who experience flow often do treat them differently from the way other parents treat their children. They are more supportive as well as more stimulating. Their children feel safe to invest attention in gradually more challenging opportunities.

Flow tends to occur when challenges are high and personal skills are used to the utmost. Flow motivates people to grow.

Adults experience flow too. They report being happiest during leisure time when they make love, socialize and talk, followed by when they eat, do sports, shop, cook and pursue hobbies. They are least happy when taking a nap during the day, watching TV, reading, working and doing chores around the house.

Yet a large part of free time is spent precisely on these passive activities, which involve practically no challenges and require no special skills. On the rare occasions that people are actively involved in leisure, through singing, bowling, biking, playing a musical instrument, pursuing art and hobbies, they report some of the highest levels of flow.

Why don't we get involved more frequently in active recreational pursuits? Perhaps it is a matter of energy. Television viewing may provide little enjoyment, but it also requires very little effort. Playing the piano or taking a bike ride are much more enjoyable but require more personal commitment.

How can we use our energy more effectively and avoid being dragged into the same old boring activities? For starters, look at how you spend your leisure time and see whether you are satisfied. Think back to experiences that gave you a sensation of flow. Maybe now is the time to go back to these activities or explore new ones.

For instance, many forms of physical activity provide the opportunity for being deeply involved in meeting a manageable challenge. Once an activity becomes too easy or repetitious, it is time to move on to a new level of difficulty, requiring us to sharpen our skills or use them in a new way.

Choosing our leisure activities wisely can increase our experience of flow and well-being tremendously. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, "Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play."